let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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