remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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