therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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