HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
