Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
