oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
