I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize