Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize