whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
