my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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