so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm at about main and main street
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
