So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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