That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Let's get the cat blown out
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
