I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
