I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
