nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
we should paint friendship bongs
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