Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
