well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
