weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You need Xanax blowdarts
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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