So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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