i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
