tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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