16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
