Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
