YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
