good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
