im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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