I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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