Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
