i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
