So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize