There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
