Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
