fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize