My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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