you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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