I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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