Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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