captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I still have a little drunk in my system
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize