This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
