He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
