Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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