doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
