i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Can I color on your dick again?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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