dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize