there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
