Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
