are you still at the devil's house?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
