I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I need to calm my uterus...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
