the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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