The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
