there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
