No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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