My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
