Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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