I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
