When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
