And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
