Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
A bitchslap is in order.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
