Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize