i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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