So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
