Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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