i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
