hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
are you so shy because you have an std?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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